And then what happened?

New Day, New Year, January 2012

I’ve somehow managed to catch some awful bloody illness AGAIN (seriously!?), which kind of put a dampener on my New Year’s Eve celebrations. Apt, considering I think I’ve been sick more often this year than ever in my life before. Mind you, I’d have to be at death’s door to really pull a Koala event anywhere below “totally awesome” level. Anyway after trying to put my common room back together in the wake of last night’s celebrating, I sat down this morning to a breakfast of lemon and ginger tea, throat lozenges, and leftover apple and raspberry crumble, because damn it all if I’m not at least seeing in the New Year with crumble! I have the most bizarre assortment of foodstuffs crammed into my fridge and cupboard, and scattered across the table. On the table alone there are four bottles of wine (two half-full), a jar of sambal chili, a handful of Raffaello chocolates, and a packet of Dutch gingerbreads called Pepernoten.

I sat for a while nursing my tea, staring out the window and mentally trying to compose this post. Something profound to say, think of something…! I’m not sure. I’m a little wary of 2012. I have a feeling it’s going to be full of some significant and possibly difficult choices. I think I’m probably going to have to learn how to deal with the culture shock of being back in Australia, and to really measure what happens next in my life. It’s going to be tough to go back to the lifestyle where I have to make certain sacrifices to achieve goals (e.g. social life goes back into storage while I try to make/save money), considering that the three years prior to 2011 all had this very concrete goal of getting me to Germany for this year. 

So then how do I go forward from here? The next milestones aren’t really determined for me beyond finishing my degrees in Sydney. From where I’m standing now, I see myself returning to Europe as soon as I possibly can, to in some way continue the life I’ve begun here this past ten months. But then I wonder if I’ll go back and find there’s still a life waiting for me in Australia, one where I stay there and go on as before. Am I going to be brave enough to hold on to this? Should I be holding on? It’s all a bit perplexing. But I’ve learned the importance of taking the opportunities I’m given while they’re there - it’s not always going to be easy for me to get a visa here, so I need to grab this chance while I’m young. There’s still so much to be done.

In the meantime however, there’s a lot to be lived here in Göttingen yet. I’m settling down with my tissues and some Dexter, and letting this day carry me where it will. I’ll take the wheel when the time comes.